I was going to start fresh in the new year by getting back on the posting bandwagon. I can't wait! I could write for days with all of the nonsense going on my head, robbing me of my precious sleep at night. One thing at a time, I guess.
So, first thing's first. I need your help, and any input would be appreciated.
My little man turned 2 (!) last week. I still cannot believe it! I am not sure if this post refers to the terrible twos already, or what. I am beyond frustrated. I am teedering on the verge of insanity. I have a toddler that does. not. eat. I try and try, and nothing works. Right now he is on a Eggo waffle kick, and nothing else. He could live on juice too. Surely the nutritional value of a prepackaged frozen waffle does not meet the expectations for a growing child. He does take a daily multivitamin, which is a slight bonus.
His diet consists of bananas, dry cereal, some grapes, raisins, pizza, grilled cheese, fruit snacks, crackers, goldfish, banana bread, gobert (yogurt), and popcorn twists. That's it. Not a lot of variety, and only eats for what he feels he is in the mood for. I wish that I could say that it was because I am an awful cook, but sadly that's not the case. No meat, no veggies... just carbs. Also, he drinks soy milk, so he is getting protein.
So, what I am asking here is, how the heck do I get him to eat?? I've been told that he will never starve, but that does not ease my mind whatsoever. I praise him when he eats, I set up birdfeeder grazing zones for him to eat on the move (which seems to work the best), I try and limit the intake of liquids and jump on the 'meal' as soon as we get home. I try and make dinner time a family event, even though he eats a separate 'meal' than we do. I mix up a few different foods so he has options. Eating the same meal as I make is simply out of the question, and refused immediately. (Rice , chicken & broccoli for instance.) I use the same dishes so that he knows the food is 'his'.
I did also take him to the nose, ear & throat specialist a couple of weeks ago, and he told me that Hudson's tonsils & adenoids are HUGE and recommended that we take them out. I would think that with having a sore throat all of the time would make for little or no use of the taste buds and likely hard to swallow. He gave us a nasal spray to try for 2 months and hope that the steroid in it brings the swelling down. He's a pretty little guy at a mere 25 lbs to have surgery, (I think). There's not a lot of blood in him for me to be completely comfortable going under the knife or laser-- whichever the hell it is.
Today I went on a big grocery shop with him strictly in mind. I bought sweet potato soup to try in his sippy cup in hopes that the tetra pack looks appealing like juice... and banana flavoured tofu dessert in hopes of resembling pudding... back to trying toddler baby food/entrees... jello cups with fruit in it so he can't just suck the juice out of the fruit cup... back to toddler snack bars... I just hope that something works. Anything works.
Who knows... Maybe with a full belly he's sleep better too.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
I'll Admit It...
I will admittedly say it, I have turned into the worst blogger... EVER. Truth be known, it is one of my resolutions for 2011. I feel good when I write, get a load off... vent a little. I even feel a bit social doing it. Cheers to a New Year and a fresh start to making some goals. I look forward to getting back in my groove.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
All Around Update
Well, wasn't that last post a bust. I rattled off about how I was going to give a better effort, and blah blah blah... Seriously. I need to get back into it. I need to vent and get this heaviness off my chest. You can only go over this stuff in your head so many times before it gets to be too much.
I have been so overwhelmed with life again lately. It is to the point that I do not know whether I am coming or going or if I even want to. Andy asks me 15 times a day what is wrong with me, and I cannot even give him an answer. Buddy, if I could tell ya, I would.
Not sure if it's just a vicious cycle or what. I go through periods of time where I think Andy is just swell. He's a great Dad, and he helps out a lot. He's not hard on the eyes, and he's crazy about me. I am not ungrateful for that. That's all fine 'n dandy, but it just seems lately that every time he opens his mouth I find myself rolling my eyes and tuning him out. I wouldn't imagine that makes me to be a very nice person. I am tired of nagging at him when I want stuff done and being disappointed by his constant answer of 'I'll do it later.' I also realize that nearly 16 years together will surely get you in a rut. I would love to have a date night, no kidlet and no hockey or derby conversations. Seems impossible, and I just want the spark back. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach when I see him. I know it's there.
A coworker of mine passed away last week as most of you know. I had a very good work relationship with him, and find it extremely difficult to deal with the loss. You spend 1/3 of your life at work, 1/3 of your life at home, and 1/3 of your life sleeping. So, I guess that's why the gap is there and why it's so hard. My heart hurts for his children. His poor 17 year old son wrote the most heartfelt & dark poem of how he wished that he could have provided for his Dad. Tragic to know that the poor kid cut the rope and couldn't save him, and neither could we.
On another note, my little kidlet has to go to the dentist this afternoon. In our house, the laundry room has tile, and 3 tile steps up. He tripped up the steps and smashed his top lip into the metal edge on the step, resulting into an extremely fat lip and some pushed back teeth. Taking a peek this morning while brushing his teeth, I think that he may have a broken tooth. Fingers crossed that the dentist gets to take a peek inside and gives us a half decent report. Ugh. Poor little man. Thankfully, it's the baby teeth.
It was pinkeye mania in our house last week. Not exactly what I needed after the pukey flu swept through the week before. Good times.
I took a bad fall at derby practice about a month ago, and stretched the tendon in my knee. Now after a month of phy$io therapy, I can take stairs pain free and get out of bed without yelping. I could only wish that I could have my confidence back to get into it, rather that the fear of hurting my knee again holding me back. Coach asked me to find the bitch in me and bring her back! I do love derby, and need to get at 'er.
My new baby nephew will be here next week! I am super excited to go and see my sister & family! We'll just say that I am less than thrilled to do the boring 6 hour drive to stay at the outlaws house. The old, dusty farmhouse will likely take a toll on the kidlet's allergies... let alone my sanity. What'd'ya do. I can't wait to see Sister. I really miss her.
I have been consumed my this new car purchase. I have been pre-approved and now just need to go in and sign on the dotted line. I hate change... and even more, I hate payments. Deciding if I need that fancy of a car is holding me back. They have my current vehicle pre-sold, so I have until Nov 9th to get it cleaned out. I'll miss the silver bullet-- and the small lease payment, but time's up.
Haven't spoke to my Mom since Mother's day when I called her. It's starting to eat away at me, yet I don't want to be the one to cave and call her. Ridiculous. Why do I find it so hard to keep contact with her?
Phew! I feel a bit better now for just having wrote this. Thanks ladies for checking in.
I have been so overwhelmed with life again lately. It is to the point that I do not know whether I am coming or going or if I even want to. Andy asks me 15 times a day what is wrong with me, and I cannot even give him an answer. Buddy, if I could tell ya, I would.
Not sure if it's just a vicious cycle or what. I go through periods of time where I think Andy is just swell. He's a great Dad, and he helps out a lot. He's not hard on the eyes, and he's crazy about me. I am not ungrateful for that. That's all fine 'n dandy, but it just seems lately that every time he opens his mouth I find myself rolling my eyes and tuning him out. I wouldn't imagine that makes me to be a very nice person. I am tired of nagging at him when I want stuff done and being disappointed by his constant answer of 'I'll do it later.' I also realize that nearly 16 years together will surely get you in a rut. I would love to have a date night, no kidlet and no hockey or derby conversations. Seems impossible, and I just want the spark back. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach when I see him. I know it's there.
A coworker of mine passed away last week as most of you know. I had a very good work relationship with him, and find it extremely difficult to deal with the loss. You spend 1/3 of your life at work, 1/3 of your life at home, and 1/3 of your life sleeping. So, I guess that's why the gap is there and why it's so hard. My heart hurts for his children. His poor 17 year old son wrote the most heartfelt & dark poem of how he wished that he could have provided for his Dad. Tragic to know that the poor kid cut the rope and couldn't save him, and neither could we.
On another note, my little kidlet has to go to the dentist this afternoon. In our house, the laundry room has tile, and 3 tile steps up. He tripped up the steps and smashed his top lip into the metal edge on the step, resulting into an extremely fat lip and some pushed back teeth. Taking a peek this morning while brushing his teeth, I think that he may have a broken tooth. Fingers crossed that the dentist gets to take a peek inside and gives us a half decent report. Ugh. Poor little man. Thankfully, it's the baby teeth.
It was pinkeye mania in our house last week. Not exactly what I needed after the pukey flu swept through the week before. Good times.
I took a bad fall at derby practice about a month ago, and stretched the tendon in my knee. Now after a month of phy$io therapy, I can take stairs pain free and get out of bed without yelping. I could only wish that I could have my confidence back to get into it, rather that the fear of hurting my knee again holding me back. Coach asked me to find the bitch in me and bring her back! I do love derby, and need to get at 'er.
My new baby nephew will be here next week! I am super excited to go and see my sister & family! We'll just say that I am less than thrilled to do the boring 6 hour drive to stay at the outlaws house. The old, dusty farmhouse will likely take a toll on the kidlet's allergies... let alone my sanity. What'd'ya do. I can't wait to see Sister. I really miss her.
I have been consumed my this new car purchase. I have been pre-approved and now just need to go in and sign on the dotted line. I hate change... and even more, I hate payments. Deciding if I need that fancy of a car is holding me back. They have my current vehicle pre-sold, so I have until Nov 9th to get it cleaned out. I'll miss the silver bullet-- and the small lease payment, but time's up.
Haven't spoke to my Mom since Mother's day when I called her. It's starting to eat away at me, yet I don't want to be the one to cave and call her. Ridiculous. Why do I find it so hard to keep contact with her?
Phew! I feel a bit better now for just having wrote this. Thanks ladies for checking in.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Slack
I just checked in and admittedly was quite shocked to see that I have not done a single post in nearly 2 months! I hadn't realized that it had been so long.
I don't know when life got so busy to not plug away for a quick 15 minutes and give an update. I need to make time... I really miss checking in!
Cheers to getting back into my groove.
Aaaaand some random thoughts to leave you with...
*Never leave a plunger in a blind man's toilet
*Never make eye contact while eating a banana
I don't know when life got so busy to not plug away for a quick 15 minutes and give an update. I need to make time... I really miss checking in!
Cheers to getting back into my groove.
Aaaaand some random thoughts to leave you with...
*Never leave a plunger in a blind man's toilet
*Never make eye contact while eating a banana
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
All Paid Up
Today I went to renew the registration on my vehicle. As well I had to renew my driver's license and pay a speeding ticket. The girl at the front counter assisting me asked me for my postal code. I gave it to her and she said it did not match the one that Canada Post had suggested to her, so I called Andy to make sure I had it correct (which I did).
While shelling out a big heap of clams to pay for all of these changes and tickets Andy snips at me, "Make sure you change the papers on the travel trailer and pay that speeding ticket with your own money. I would have done the registration on the trailer before but I wasn't going to pay for YOUR speeding ticket."
I replied, "Don't worry about it, I was going to use my own mony anyway."
As she is changing the address on the travel trailer the clerk says to me, "Uh-oh. Looks like HE has a ticket on here... what should we do?"
Oh really?!?! So I whip out my cell phone with smirk on my face and a nasty arch in my brow, and dial Andy's phone. He cheerfully asks me if I had any money left after paying my bills. I replied, "YES, but would you prefer for me to use MY MONEY or yours to pay your ticket?!?"
I pulled the phone away from my ear because he was laughing so loudly, and says " HAHAHA-- you weren't supposed to find out about that!" Seat belt ticket.
Hmmmm... well I did, I used my money to pay his fine and I'll save it for ammo on another day.
While shelling out a big heap of clams to pay for all of these changes and tickets Andy snips at me, "Make sure you change the papers on the travel trailer and pay that speeding ticket with your own money. I would have done the registration on the trailer before but I wasn't going to pay for YOUR speeding ticket."
I replied, "Don't worry about it, I was going to use my own mony anyway."
As she is changing the address on the travel trailer the clerk says to me, "Uh-oh. Looks like HE has a ticket on here... what should we do?"
Oh really?!?! So I whip out my cell phone with smirk on my face and a nasty arch in my brow, and dial Andy's phone. He cheerfully asks me if I had any money left after paying my bills. I replied, "YES, but would you prefer for me to use MY MONEY or yours to pay your ticket?!?"
I pulled the phone away from my ear because he was laughing so loudly, and says " HAHAHA-- you weren't supposed to find out about that!" Seat belt ticket.
Hmmmm... well I did, I used my money to pay his fine and I'll save it for ammo on another day.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Blonde Moment
I often say that I am smarter than I look being blonde 'n all, but today-- not true.
I got up early and took Hudson to do some running around before stores got busy. I made a quick stop at Superstore, picked up a few things. I walked over to my vehicle, threw the bags inside. I go to put Hudson in his car seat... but it's not there. Yep, NOT THERE. I am cursing mad, and I look around the parking lot with a lost look on my face.
I then hear a snippy voice behind me say, "Excuse me! This is MY car!"
That's right. Not my car.
I'll just grab my bags and my kid and go, thank you.
I got up early and took Hudson to do some running around before stores got busy. I made a quick stop at Superstore, picked up a few things. I walked over to my vehicle, threw the bags inside. I go to put Hudson in his car seat... but it's not there. Yep, NOT THERE. I am cursing mad, and I look around the parking lot with a lost look on my face.
I then hear a snippy voice behind me say, "Excuse me! This is MY car!"
That's right. Not my car.
I'll just grab my bags and my kid and go, thank you.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Old Hen
On Saturday night I went out for a Stagette for one of the four weddings that I was invited to on the 14th. I will not be attending this particular wedding ( I will be doing 2 of the 4 though) so I figured I should make the appearance to balance it all out. The party started at 6:00, and Hudson stayed out at the lake with his Dad so that I could have a worry-free good time. I really looked forward to it. A good excuse to go out with the girls, get dressed up, and shake my bootie. It has been a long time since I had been out for a night on the town.
So I get to this party and was having a great time playing games, having drinks and I consumed a large quantity of jello shooters. WOo HOo! At 10:30, the Hummer limo comes to pick us up and begin a night of clubbing. We get to the first place, and that's when it all changed for me. Don't get me wrong here, the girls that I was with were a lot of fun-- but I think this old hen is done with the bar scene. Drinks are overpriced and there are too many 18 year olds sharing my space.
A 3am bedtime is ridiculous, especially when your new found sleep in time is 8am.
Here I sound like naggy old bitch, but I would much rather have a girls night at a lounge dressed up and sipping on cocktails, sharing some appies while consumed in great conversation. Even better, a night in at a friends place playing games and a BBQ with the family.
At what point did I stand back only to judge and rather wish that I was out at the lake sitting around the fire with friends and my little family? Is it because I am nearly 35? Is it because I now have different priorities?
I used to be a ring leader in the party scene. Now? Not so much. Good thing I have another one to go to on Wednesday...
So I get to this party and was having a great time playing games, having drinks and I consumed a large quantity of jello shooters. WOo HOo! At 10:30, the Hummer limo comes to pick us up and begin a night of clubbing. We get to the first place, and that's when it all changed for me. Don't get me wrong here, the girls that I was with were a lot of fun-- but I think this old hen is done with the bar scene. Drinks are overpriced and there are too many 18 year olds sharing my space.
A 3am bedtime is ridiculous, especially when your new found sleep in time is 8am.
Here I sound like naggy old bitch, but I would much rather have a girls night at a lounge dressed up and sipping on cocktails, sharing some appies while consumed in great conversation. Even better, a night in at a friends place playing games and a BBQ with the family.
At what point did I stand back only to judge and rather wish that I was out at the lake sitting around the fire with friends and my little family? Is it because I am nearly 35? Is it because I now have different priorities?
I used to be a ring leader in the party scene. Now? Not so much. Good thing I have another one to go to on Wednesday...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Heartbreaker
Tonight I went to for an outdoor skate, some me time while Andy is working out of town. I arranged for the sitter a couple of days ago and she agreed to watch Hudson.
Just as I was on my way to pick her up, she sends a text (she's 14) asking if it would be alright if Hudson came over to her house rather than her watching him here at home. Then she sent another saying never mind, and not to worry about it. So, I called her en route to pick her up and get the scoop. She then hums and haws about how her family has company in town and she'd really like to have Hudson over the show him off. No joke! I was very hesitant about it, seeings how I have a hard time leaving him with just anyone. I asked if her Mom was available, and got her to put her on the phone. (Her Mom runs Hudson's day care.) I told her that I was not comfortable with him coming over unless I knew that she would be there the entire time I was gone. She agreed.
BIG step for me.
So I left for a couple of hours only to return before it got too late and missed the opportunity of a 'normal' bedtime schedule. I knock on the door and Hudson is in the Mom's arms laughing his little heart out. Clearly he's having the time of his life and I need not to worry.
I grab his backpack, and hold out my arms to him and said let's go...
He looks at me, shakes his head no and cuddles into Fabiola even more. He quickly turns around and says, 'BYYYYYYE MOMMY' and gives me the biggest wave.
My heart shattered into a million pieces and I could feel a lump in my throat. My eyes welled up.
I tried again, only to get the same reaction. It's great that he is happy with her and that part does not worry me. I was only hurt at the idea that he chose someone else over his Momma. WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
She then invited me in and introduced me to the Spanish dinner party. She fed me some of the authentic Spanish food. It was amazing.... and tonight I would like to call it comfort food. I watched Hudson run around the house and act like he owned it. He loves it there.
After the goodbye hugs from Hudson, she walked us out the door to help with the transition of going home with ME. I then called his Dad to let him know what had just happened. He laughed-- (thanks for the support.)
So, to help heal my heavy heart I did a post. There's going to be many moments when Hudson does not want his Mom around, I just never expected it so soon.
Just as I was on my way to pick her up, she sends a text (she's 14) asking if it would be alright if Hudson came over to her house rather than her watching him here at home. Then she sent another saying never mind, and not to worry about it. So, I called her en route to pick her up and get the scoop. She then hums and haws about how her family has company in town and she'd really like to have Hudson over the show him off. No joke! I was very hesitant about it, seeings how I have a hard time leaving him with just anyone. I asked if her Mom was available, and got her to put her on the phone. (Her Mom runs Hudson's day care.) I told her that I was not comfortable with him coming over unless I knew that she would be there the entire time I was gone. She agreed.
BIG step for me.
So I left for a couple of hours only to return before it got too late and missed the opportunity of a 'normal' bedtime schedule. I knock on the door and Hudson is in the Mom's arms laughing his little heart out. Clearly he's having the time of his life and I need not to worry.
I grab his backpack, and hold out my arms to him and said let's go...
He looks at me, shakes his head no and cuddles into Fabiola even more. He quickly turns around and says, 'BYYYYYYE MOMMY' and gives me the biggest wave.
My heart shattered into a million pieces and I could feel a lump in my throat. My eyes welled up.
I tried again, only to get the same reaction. It's great that he is happy with her and that part does not worry me. I was only hurt at the idea that he chose someone else over his Momma. WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
She then invited me in and introduced me to the Spanish dinner party. She fed me some of the authentic Spanish food. It was amazing.... and tonight I would like to call it comfort food. I watched Hudson run around the house and act like he owned it. He loves it there.
After the goodbye hugs from Hudson, she walked us out the door to help with the transition of going home with ME. I then called his Dad to let him know what had just happened. He laughed-- (thanks for the support.)
So, to help heal my heavy heart I did a post. There's going to be many moments when Hudson does not want his Mom around, I just never expected it so soon.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Best Banana Bread
This is the best recipe EVER. I don't think I have ever posted a recipe, but it is so simple & good that I had to share it with you.
1 1/3 c flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup + 2 tsp sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
3-4 bananas (depending on how large)
2 tbsp sour cream
1 tsp vanilla
Preheat oven to 350*F
Mash banana, add all ingredients, and stir/fold together until 'just' mixed.
Bake for 45 mins - 1 hour in one loaf pan.
1 1/3 c flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup + 2 tsp sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
3-4 bananas (depending on how large)
2 tbsp sour cream
1 tsp vanilla
Preheat oven to 350*F
Mash banana, add all ingredients, and stir/fold together until 'just' mixed.
Bake for 45 mins - 1 hour in one loaf pan.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Time Flies
Seriously, I cannot believe how fast time goes, and just how quickly my little man is growing. Here's some pics at the park, one year apart.
*tear*
I realize that he is still little (24 lbs, and 31 inches short), but he looks like such a little boy and not a baby.
Yesterday:
Last summer:
*tear*
I realize that he is still little (24 lbs, and 31 inches short), but he looks like such a little boy and not a baby.
Yesterday:
Last summer:
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wicked
I work at the. best. place. ever.
It's so very wonderful to be appreciated... and they let me know it. Today as a sales incentive they gave me a personal gift as a way to say thanks and keep up the good work.
Here it is:
Reidell WICKED. And they are wicked!
It's so very wonderful to be appreciated... and they let me know it. Today as a sales incentive they gave me a personal gift as a way to say thanks and keep up the good work.
Here it is:
Reidell WICKED. And they are wicked!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Guilt
I took a moment today and scrolled through a few of my old posts. Looking through I have come to realize how busy my life has become, and how I miss the simple things.
I cannot believe just how fast time has flown by and how big and independent my little man is. Honestly, as cliched as it sounds... it all goes too fast! My old posts were all about the exciting adventures of being a new Mom and there were so many pictures! These days my posts (if I actually take the time do one) mainly consist of a bitchfest and/or man-bashing.
I miss the days of taking my little man to the play groups and afternoon trips to the park. I remember the days of not getting my shit together and showering until late morning. Our new routine of 6 am wake ups suck & our weekends are so jam-packed trying to compensate for the days of working full time... and lets not forget that I have derby practice 3 nights per week and squeeze in nail clients every other day that I am not practicing.
I know that he is a fabulous day care, but I am so consumed by guilt that I am not spending enough quality time with him. I do try to fit in most nail appointments and housework after 8pm while he is in bed, and try to justify that I need 'me' time so derby a couple of nights a week is okay.
The lady at the Health Care Unit complimented me the other day about how intellegent Hudson is and later, as my head started to grow I wondered if it's my credit to take-- or is the day care??
Is it normal to feel this guilty?
I cannot believe just how fast time has flown by and how big and independent my little man is. Honestly, as cliched as it sounds... it all goes too fast! My old posts were all about the exciting adventures of being a new Mom and there were so many pictures! These days my posts (if I actually take the time do one) mainly consist of a bitchfest and/or man-bashing.
I miss the days of taking my little man to the play groups and afternoon trips to the park. I remember the days of not getting my shit together and showering until late morning. Our new routine of 6 am wake ups suck & our weekends are so jam-packed trying to compensate for the days of working full time... and lets not forget that I have derby practice 3 nights per week and squeeze in nail clients every other day that I am not practicing.
I know that he is a fabulous day care, but I am so consumed by guilt that I am not spending enough quality time with him. I do try to fit in most nail appointments and housework after 8pm while he is in bed, and try to justify that I need 'me' time so derby a couple of nights a week is okay.
The lady at the Health Care Unit complimented me the other day about how intellegent Hudson is and later, as my head started to grow I wondered if it's my credit to take-- or is the day care??
Is it normal to feel this guilty?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Great Weekend
Even though I only had one day off, I would still consider it a weekend... and a fantastic one it was.
We did things as a family. No arguing, no bitching, no nothing. It was so nice. We reconnected as a couple and as a family, rather than simply meeting at our common ground -- Hudson.
Saturday night was just spent hanging out. Andy and I rented a movie (Brooklyn's Finest) and just cuddled up and watched it in bed. Normally I fall asleep, but this time I made it through.
Sunday morning we had a sleep in until 8:30, and I got up and made breakfast. Normally I would not get excited about that either... but Hudson finally ate something out of the norm and ate homemade waffles with us. Big step! We went to the circus in the afternoon, and what a nice change of pace for something to do together. Hudson had eyes like saucers and was in awe of the elephants that do tricks like a dog (what a sad life they have).
We went for a nice walk to the park.
That night we got a sitter and when to the movie and saw Grown Ups. It was okay... Andy likes Adam Sandler so he loved it. I suppose it's a fair trade for making him go see Eclipse with me two weeks ago.
Nothing spectacular to report, but it was nice and chill. Cheers to more of these.
We did things as a family. No arguing, no bitching, no nothing. It was so nice. We reconnected as a couple and as a family, rather than simply meeting at our common ground -- Hudson.
Saturday night was just spent hanging out. Andy and I rented a movie (Brooklyn's Finest) and just cuddled up and watched it in bed. Normally I fall asleep, but this time I made it through.
Sunday morning we had a sleep in until 8:30, and I got up and made breakfast. Normally I would not get excited about that either... but Hudson finally ate something out of the norm and ate homemade waffles with us. Big step! We went to the circus in the afternoon, and what a nice change of pace for something to do together. Hudson had eyes like saucers and was in awe of the elephants that do tricks like a dog (what a sad life they have).
We went for a nice walk to the park.
That night we got a sitter and when to the movie and saw Grown Ups. It was okay... Andy likes Adam Sandler so he loved it. I suppose it's a fair trade for making him go see Eclipse with me two weeks ago.
Nothing spectacular to report, but it was nice and chill. Cheers to more of these.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Visual
As you know, I do a post each and every time the OL's come to town. Primarily just to blow off some steam because they drive me effing insane (slight understatement). I shutter at the very thought of them coming for a visit and they are here again. *sigh* ... they were just here two short months ago.
I am not going to go into any sort of a detailed bitch list, but however I will leave you with this to get the idea:
Go to your quiet place.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
Now imagine the MIL sitting across the table from you eating corn on the cob (veg choice that was picked by my husband for dinner). She only wears her top teeth.
Nuff said.
I am not going to go into any sort of a detailed bitch list, but however I will leave you with this to get the idea:
Go to your quiet place.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
Now imagine the MIL sitting across the table from you eating corn on the cob (veg choice that was picked by my husband for dinner). She only wears her top teeth.
Nuff said.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Finally Checking In...
Just figured I would check in since it has been nearly a month from my last post (Gotta be a record). I have all kinds of things that I should post about (like my fabulous getaway) and I just can't find my groove. I do apologize, I know that there are a few of you that do like to check in!
I really should have done this in a few posts, but I am going to do the condensed version all in one.
It takes all that I have to get the everyday stuff done lately, let alone any extras. My housework has been slacking (good, but not to my OCD standards.) I have been working my ass off at the office... and I think it will pay off. Maybe not today, but I know it will down the road. My boss and his wife told me on 2 different occasions that I should change my name from 'Jen' to 'Gem'.
My little man is growing up so fast, that I just want to spend all of my extra time with him. He is starting to get quite the vocabulary, and a hefty attitude to go with it. I love him to bits! He gets more and more fun each day, and he amazes me with how smart he is. I just cannot believe that a person that small can retain so much! He has been doing very well in the health department these days as well... *touch wood* His eyes look clear, and no fever or runny nose. He has all but 2 teeth cut through now, so I wonder if that had a little something to do with it. Whatever the case, I'm thankful he's feeling good.
I have been getting into the whole idea of joining Roller Derby. I went and checked things out, got sized for gear and now I am just waiting for it to arrive. I am pumped! I can limp around on roller skates, but it is going to take some time to rock the crossovers and rule books. Something fun and new to this city and especially, something for me. Andy doesn't seem quite so confident that it is the sport for me though, trying to convince me that I will be able to dish out the attitude but not able to take it. Won't know until I try though right? I think I will be fine... I used to be scrappy when I was younger. HAHA. He also rented 'Whip It' the other night in hopes that I would bail on the idea and save us a few hundred bucks in equipment. No such luck. I think I have settled on my Derby name, JENNY ROTTEN. What'd ya think?
Going camping on the weekend with some old friends. Looking forward to it, as we always have a great time with them but I am sick to my stomach at the thought of having a fire going with a busy 18 month old in tow.
Andy is working out of town for the summer. I like having him busy at work, and for the most part don't mind the single parenting thing. It will be great to get caught up on bills with the extra $ he will be making. Damned property taxes. I hate you.
Hubs and I have been on the outs for the past while. Need to take the time and regroup, but not sure how to tackle it. I just look at him and as soon as he opens his mouth I can feel my eyeballs rolling. I am not sure why, but he absolutely frustrates me. I feel most days as though he just another child in the house, never mind my partner. I have my issues as a control freak, and he is just so whatever about everything. He did do a good job while I was away in Quebec, so when he is home I like to give him the opportunity to take the reigns. Balance, that's what I want. Someone who can find his keys and wallet without asking, and pick up after his own self. Maybe even help with the house and kidlet. How's about a little time to make me feel special not just a quick kiss on the way out the door. Ah well, enough about that. Things will work out, they always do...
I have been waiting very impatiently for my friend T to have her baby... I am so excited for her. I thought he'd be here already. Can't wait to hear his stats and what kind of cool rocker/hockey name they picked out. My love goes out to her, and hope her delivery goes smoothly and pain free as possible.
A big congrats goes out to my Aunt, she went and eloped. Good for them, and exactly how they wanted it. He is a wonderful guy, and I am glad that he takes such good care of her. She deserves it. I do hope that she has a photo or two though!
I wish that I lived closer to my family. All of them.
Well peeps, I should get back to my exciting life and fold some laundry. Sure do wish I was able to make it to the Derby Meeting tonight. *sigh*
I really should have done this in a few posts, but I am going to do the condensed version all in one.
It takes all that I have to get the everyday stuff done lately, let alone any extras. My housework has been slacking (good, but not to my OCD standards.) I have been working my ass off at the office... and I think it will pay off. Maybe not today, but I know it will down the road. My boss and his wife told me on 2 different occasions that I should change my name from 'Jen' to 'Gem'.
My little man is growing up so fast, that I just want to spend all of my extra time with him. He is starting to get quite the vocabulary, and a hefty attitude to go with it. I love him to bits! He gets more and more fun each day, and he amazes me with how smart he is. I just cannot believe that a person that small can retain so much! He has been doing very well in the health department these days as well... *touch wood* His eyes look clear, and no fever or runny nose. He has all but 2 teeth cut through now, so I wonder if that had a little something to do with it. Whatever the case, I'm thankful he's feeling good.
I have been getting into the whole idea of joining Roller Derby. I went and checked things out, got sized for gear and now I am just waiting for it to arrive. I am pumped! I can limp around on roller skates, but it is going to take some time to rock the crossovers and rule books. Something fun and new to this city and especially, something for me. Andy doesn't seem quite so confident that it is the sport for me though, trying to convince me that I will be able to dish out the attitude but not able to take it. Won't know until I try though right? I think I will be fine... I used to be scrappy when I was younger. HAHA. He also rented 'Whip It' the other night in hopes that I would bail on the idea and save us a few hundred bucks in equipment. No such luck. I think I have settled on my Derby name, JENNY ROTTEN. What'd ya think?
Going camping on the weekend with some old friends. Looking forward to it, as we always have a great time with them but I am sick to my stomach at the thought of having a fire going with a busy 18 month old in tow.
Andy is working out of town for the summer. I like having him busy at work, and for the most part don't mind the single parenting thing. It will be great to get caught up on bills with the extra $ he will be making. Damned property taxes. I hate you.
Hubs and I have been on the outs for the past while. Need to take the time and regroup, but not sure how to tackle it. I just look at him and as soon as he opens his mouth I can feel my eyeballs rolling. I am not sure why, but he absolutely frustrates me. I feel most days as though he just another child in the house, never mind my partner. I have my issues as a control freak, and he is just so whatever about everything. He did do a good job while I was away in Quebec, so when he is home I like to give him the opportunity to take the reigns. Balance, that's what I want. Someone who can find his keys and wallet without asking, and pick up after his own self. Maybe even help with the house and kidlet. How's about a little time to make me feel special not just a quick kiss on the way out the door. Ah well, enough about that. Things will work out, they always do...
I have been waiting very impatiently for my friend T to have her baby... I am so excited for her. I thought he'd be here already. Can't wait to hear his stats and what kind of cool rocker/hockey name they picked out. My love goes out to her, and hope her delivery goes smoothly and pain free as possible.
A big congrats goes out to my Aunt, she went and eloped. Good for them, and exactly how they wanted it. He is a wonderful guy, and I am glad that he takes such good care of her. She deserves it. I do hope that she has a photo or two though!
I wish that I lived closer to my family. All of them.
Well peeps, I should get back to my exciting life and fold some laundry. Sure do wish I was able to make it to the Derby Meeting tonight. *sigh*
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Man Baby
Likely not the best title... but it's very suiting.
This past weekend was great. My Sister and her husband along with their kids came for a visit. It makes me very happy! I do have to point out that it was too short of a visit, I miss them like mad.
Nonetheless, back to what puts rage in my heart-- My husband!
Friday was a beautiful day, very sunny and hot. Andy asks if it would be alright to go golfing for the afternoon. I said that it would be alright, but please be home in time for when our company arrives. He was there shortly after, close enough. He had a great day.
Friday night was low key, just hung out having a family bbq. Saturday morning rolls around and Andy has a couple of hours work that he needs to go and do. After getting done what needed to, he comes home to get changed and is chomping at the bit to go to the Rugby game. I did not find that it was necessary for him to go watch, after all our visitors would only be her for a day and a half. Out stuck the lip.
Sister and I were going to buzz up to the Superstore and grab a couple of things, and figured that since we were taking the kids with us it would be alright for the boys to go do something for a bit as well. Andy figures that taking Bobby to the rugby game would be a spectacular idea. I asked more than once how long they figured they would be. '45 minutes.' was the time frame he gave me, even though I know full well how it's going to turn out.
After 4 hours, I decide that I should stop by the clubhouse and see how the boys are doing. Sister is in the vehicle behind me, and we are making our way home for dinner. To make a long story short, Andy gets pissed off that I am there to pick him up. (I am not a drill sargent of a wife-- he has very little to follow in the rule book. Also, I did not feel his pain knowing he had a great day golfing the day before.)
Reluctantly he leaves. He beats us home.
I open the door to find him unloading the dishwasher (WTF?!) and literally throwing dishes and slamming cupboard doors in the process. I ask him what his problem is, and not one word was responded. I love mind games.
So while I have a houseful of company, he is throwing his hissy fit. A grown man behaving like a child because he is missing out on the party (Yeah, yeah, I know all about the fun gathering of a sunny sausagefest with $2.50 beers.)
I was so embarrassed, to say the least.
He finishes unloading the dishwasher and goes to his room and slams the door. Really?!?! BIL heads up for a heart to heart. Dad heads home with very few words said while he is there. Short while later, man baby comes down and acts like nothing ever happened. That's what pisses me off the most. Ridiculous.
Sunday, nothing was said. Our company left, and he asks if I would like to go to a movie. I agreed, even going to see the movie that he wanted to. Perfect time for me to ask what the fuck he was thinking when he pulled his stunt the previous day.
His response? 'You guys pulled up with 2 vehicles to come get us. Made me look stupid.'
All of that noise for that?! All because you are 35 years old and it's time to grow up? You have ALL summer to perform at the clubhouse.
Until next time, Man Baby.
This past weekend was great. My Sister and her husband along with their kids came for a visit. It makes me very happy! I do have to point out that it was too short of a visit, I miss them like mad.
Nonetheless, back to what puts rage in my heart-- My husband!
Friday was a beautiful day, very sunny and hot. Andy asks if it would be alright to go golfing for the afternoon. I said that it would be alright, but please be home in time for when our company arrives. He was there shortly after, close enough. He had a great day.
Friday night was low key, just hung out having a family bbq. Saturday morning rolls around and Andy has a couple of hours work that he needs to go and do. After getting done what needed to, he comes home to get changed and is chomping at the bit to go to the Rugby game. I did not find that it was necessary for him to go watch, after all our visitors would only be her for a day and a half. Out stuck the lip.
Sister and I were going to buzz up to the Superstore and grab a couple of things, and figured that since we were taking the kids with us it would be alright for the boys to go do something for a bit as well. Andy figures that taking Bobby to the rugby game would be a spectacular idea. I asked more than once how long they figured they would be. '45 minutes.' was the time frame he gave me, even though I know full well how it's going to turn out.
After 4 hours, I decide that I should stop by the clubhouse and see how the boys are doing. Sister is in the vehicle behind me, and we are making our way home for dinner. To make a long story short, Andy gets pissed off that I am there to pick him up. (I am not a drill sargent of a wife-- he has very little to follow in the rule book. Also, I did not feel his pain knowing he had a great day golfing the day before.)
Reluctantly he leaves. He beats us home.
I open the door to find him unloading the dishwasher (WTF?!) and literally throwing dishes and slamming cupboard doors in the process. I ask him what his problem is, and not one word was responded. I love mind games.
So while I have a houseful of company, he is throwing his hissy fit. A grown man behaving like a child because he is missing out on the party (Yeah, yeah, I know all about the fun gathering of a sunny sausagefest with $2.50 beers.)
I was so embarrassed, to say the least.
He finishes unloading the dishwasher and goes to his room and slams the door. Really?!?! BIL heads up for a heart to heart. Dad heads home with very few words said while he is there. Short while later, man baby comes down and acts like nothing ever happened. That's what pisses me off the most. Ridiculous.
Sunday, nothing was said. Our company left, and he asks if I would like to go to a movie. I agreed, even going to see the movie that he wanted to. Perfect time for me to ask what the fuck he was thinking when he pulled his stunt the previous day.
His response? 'You guys pulled up with 2 vehicles to come get us. Made me look stupid.'
All of that noise for that?! All because you are 35 years old and it's time to grow up? You have ALL summer to perform at the clubhouse.
Until next time, Man Baby.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Woes Me
Oh, what I wouldn't give to write a hilarious post. *sigh*
Ever feel like the Universe is against you? It seems that way for me lately. I can usually plug away, and tread water long enough to get my way through most situations. Lately I feel overwhelmed, and find it so hard to just get by.
Andy has been so much better, doing things like helping out in the mornings and folding laundry without being asked. He even brought me lunch to the office, and I had some flowers delivered for my desk yesterday. I know that he can tell that I am stressed, and is trying to make things
easier for me. Soon he will be working out of town and making good money again, so that makes things a bit brighter as well. Going to Mexico after mat leave and quitting your job makes it tough to get ahead. It's coming, all this hard work has to pay off at some point.
Work, it's been stressful only because things are not working out perfectly. I love my job, and the office part of it is fantastic. It just seems that every job I set up seems to have some sort of set back. It's just not one little thing either, it's like I have one day where everything that I touch turns to shit-- and then the next day I am cleaning up the mess of the after math. Perhaps these issues are really not that big, but only seem to be because of the other difficulties I have with my personal life.
I know that if I had more sleep, all would be great. Hudson has a mouthful of teeth that are cutting through and still wakes up in the night. I know that it's not forever, but I miss my sleep. I keep telling myself that it's overrated and then reminisce about how I would pull an all-nighter and go to work reeking of booze and not even bat an eye. (Oh how times have changed.)
I am still struggling a bit with being away from Hudson 5 full days a week. I know that he is in excellent care, and I do like to work. Buuuut.... when I pick him up and they tell me all about his day and I hear of all his changes, I get a little envious because I only get a couple of hours per night to spend with him. Mommy guilt sucks.
We had another appointment with the naturopath doctor, and I am still all defensive about how I am criticized regarding his eating habits and his 'cold'. She did a muscle test this time and he has an intolerance to lactose, chicken, rice, wheat, and the dog. I have him on a multi vitamin and some natural biotics from the health food store to try and fix some of these problems. Small adjustments, or he may just outgrow it.
I was running like mad, and for the last couple of weeks I have not been taking the time for myself to get out and do it. I know it sounds like and excuse, but I really have no time. I need to make time. It feels great.
Lastly, if you have been follwing my Tweets in the past while you have likely seen my disappointment in another aspect. My brother is back to his old ways. I am not going to go into great detail, but anyone who knows me personally will already know his past history. I lose sleep at night worrying about this 33 year old 'boy' and his well being. It consumes me.
I have to accept that he is 33 and can make his own choices in life, he is able to work and provide for himself and I have to worry about my own family. It's very hard, and I want to help. He has to help himself first. Everything has to get worse before it can get better, and I am sure that we've nearly hit rock bottom.
Only time will tell.
Ever feel like the Universe is against you? It seems that way for me lately. I can usually plug away, and tread water long enough to get my way through most situations. Lately I feel overwhelmed, and find it so hard to just get by.
Andy has been so much better, doing things like helping out in the mornings and folding laundry without being asked. He even brought me lunch to the office, and I had some flowers delivered for my desk yesterday. I know that he can tell that I am stressed, and is trying to make things
easier for me. Soon he will be working out of town and making good money again, so that makes things a bit brighter as well. Going to Mexico after mat leave and quitting your job makes it tough to get ahead. It's coming, all this hard work has to pay off at some point.
Work, it's been stressful only because things are not working out perfectly. I love my job, and the office part of it is fantastic. It just seems that every job I set up seems to have some sort of set back. It's just not one little thing either, it's like I have one day where everything that I touch turns to shit-- and then the next day I am cleaning up the mess of the after math. Perhaps these issues are really not that big, but only seem to be because of the other difficulties I have with my personal life.
I know that if I had more sleep, all would be great. Hudson has a mouthful of teeth that are cutting through and still wakes up in the night. I know that it's not forever, but I miss my sleep. I keep telling myself that it's overrated and then reminisce about how I would pull an all-nighter and go to work reeking of booze and not even bat an eye. (Oh how times have changed.)
I am still struggling a bit with being away from Hudson 5 full days a week. I know that he is in excellent care, and I do like to work. Buuuut.... when I pick him up and they tell me all about his day and I hear of all his changes, I get a little envious because I only get a couple of hours per night to spend with him. Mommy guilt sucks.
We had another appointment with the naturopath doctor, and I am still all defensive about how I am criticized regarding his eating habits and his 'cold'. She did a muscle test this time and he has an intolerance to lactose, chicken, rice, wheat, and the dog. I have him on a multi vitamin and some natural biotics from the health food store to try and fix some of these problems. Small adjustments, or he may just outgrow it.
I was running like mad, and for the last couple of weeks I have not been taking the time for myself to get out and do it. I know it sounds like and excuse, but I really have no time. I need to make time. It feels great.
Lastly, if you have been follwing my Tweets in the past while you have likely seen my disappointment in another aspect. My brother is back to his old ways. I am not going to go into great detail, but anyone who knows me personally will already know his past history. I lose sleep at night worrying about this 33 year old 'boy' and his well being. It consumes me.
I have to accept that he is 33 and can make his own choices in life, he is able to work and provide for himself and I have to worry about my own family. It's very hard, and I want to help. He has to help himself first. Everything has to get worse before it can get better, and I am sure that we've nearly hit rock bottom.
Only time will tell.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Too Late to Change My Mind???
Well today my ticket was officially booked. No backing out now.
I have to fly out of Edmonton at 6am on the Saturday, so now I have to leave a day earlier than originally planned. I will be gone from Friday afternoon until Tuesday afternoon. That's 4 nights away from Hudson... Kills me.
4 days. Will I survive?
Will they?
I don't think I'd be freaking out over the situation of I wasn't miles and hours away. Guess I should've read the fine print before I agreed, but then when your boss and the rep are sitting in the chairs directly in front of my desk in my office... you don't have any other choice. Also, it's such a wicked opportunity. I look forward to the great sleep I hope to have, and the shopping I hope to do.
But this morning Hudson's Dad got him dressed and I had to take a double look while he was sitting in is high chair. I asked if he put his shoes on himself because they were on the wrong feet! I did laugh it off, but in the back of my mind I can't help but turn myself inside out!
Is this normal to worry like I am?
I have to fly out of Edmonton at 6am on the Saturday, so now I have to leave a day earlier than originally planned. I will be gone from Friday afternoon until Tuesday afternoon. That's 4 nights away from Hudson... Kills me.
4 days. Will I survive?
Will they?
I don't think I'd be freaking out over the situation of I wasn't miles and hours away. Guess I should've read the fine print before I agreed, but then when your boss and the rep are sitting in the chairs directly in front of my desk in my office... you don't have any other choice. Also, it's such a wicked opportunity. I look forward to the great sleep I hope to have, and the shopping I hope to do.
But this morning Hudson's Dad got him dressed and I had to take a double look while he was sitting in is high chair. I asked if he put his shoes on himself because they were on the wrong feet! I did laugh it off, but in the back of my mind I can't help but turn myself inside out!
Is this normal to worry like I am?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Mini Holiday
I found out today that I am invited to go on an all expense paid trip for work. I was very nervous in the beginning, and now I am quite excited!
I am off to the beautiful Quebec City! I am off to a tour of the mill where a product is made that we sell. I leave on May 29th (Saturday) and I return home on June 1st early morning. The tour of the mill is Monday... and Sunday is a free day to tour as we wish. I look forward to it, and I heard the shopping is amazing there and quite cheap.
I am not going to lie that my heart sank at the thought of being away from Hudson for 3 days, as he has never been apart from me not even one night. Should be an adventure, but I cannot pass up the opportunity. I will not over think it and it will be a great experience. Not to mention the idea of a couple night's sleep--- uninterrupted!
Here's where I get to stay while I am being 'holed up' away from the family:
http://www.fairmont.com/frontenec/
I am off to the beautiful Quebec City! I am off to a tour of the mill where a product is made that we sell. I leave on May 29th (Saturday) and I return home on June 1st early morning. The tour of the mill is Monday... and Sunday is a free day to tour as we wish. I look forward to it, and I heard the shopping is amazing there and quite cheap.
I am not going to lie that my heart sank at the thought of being away from Hudson for 3 days, as he has never been apart from me not even one night. Should be an adventure, but I cannot pass up the opportunity. I will not over think it and it will be a great experience. Not to mention the idea of a couple night's sleep--- uninterrupted!
Here's where I get to stay while I am being 'holed up' away from the family:
http://www.fairmont.com/frontenec/
Monday, April 12, 2010
One is Enough
Talk about an eye opener! Looking back on my pity party/confusion that I thought I had in the last post, I was given a nice dose of reality today. I should be thankful for what I have and not fret about feeble shit.
Why?
A young woman came in to my work today. She was comfortably dressed, showing off her baby bump. I love to make small talk about how far along mothers to be are and usually inquire about the gender, and today was no exception. She replied that they were due in October, but would have them in August. I said 'Wow, that's early?... Twins?'
Nope, TRIPLETS. Three identical babies.
Naturally.
My life is rolling along just fine with my solo kidlet. After she gave me the run down on all the emails she has sent out to formula companies, diaper companies and services as well as the City for donations, and the worry of how she only has 2 boobs for 3 babies and how to tell them apart... ugh.
Nuff said.
Why?
A young woman came in to my work today. She was comfortably dressed, showing off her baby bump. I love to make small talk about how far along mothers to be are and usually inquire about the gender, and today was no exception. She replied that they were due in October, but would have them in August. I said 'Wow, that's early?... Twins?'
Nope, TRIPLETS. Three identical babies.
Naturally.
My life is rolling along just fine with my solo kidlet. After she gave me the run down on all the emails she has sent out to formula companies, diaper companies and services as well as the City for donations, and the worry of how she only has 2 boobs for 3 babies and how to tell them apart... ugh.
Nuff said.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Mixed Emotions
As you can tell by reading my last post, life is busy. Very busy actually, like most Mom friends these days and I am sure that you can relate. Working full time, dropping the little man to and from day care, laundry, groceries, housework, walking the dog, nails, and finally squeezing much needed time in for the husband is all more than I can handle most days. I do my best, and try to juggle enough to find somewhat of a balance to it all.
Andy and I have been going back and forth with this argument. Well maybe argument is not the best choice for the word, but we are just not seeing eye to eye on this situation.
Hudson, as you know was a perfect result from our struggle with infertility and finally the journey with IVF. I do not take him for granted for one second, and I am so very grateful that after our 7 year struggle that he has been blessed to come into our lives. I absolutely love being his Mom. He is also at a very fun age right now, and I love that I have regained some of my independence. He can come along with me wherever and I do not worry about feeding times and the massive diaper bag. Sitters are more readily available for one (*Ahem*, we won't go there). He is adjusted to day care very well, therefor I am settled into a work routine at a great job that I love.
So back to the argument-- Andy is riding me hard in terms of going back to the fertility clinic and doing another round. Next time would be a frozen transfer, so I guess in some aspects I suppose it may be easier, but....
Seeing his side of the story, he says that Hudson needs a buddy. Andy was the result of an unplanned pregnancy later in life which seemed pretty much as an only child because of this. He said that it was very lonely, and will not have it that way for his son. I completely agree. I do not know what I would do without my siblings, especially my Sister whom I am very close with.
My side of the story only sees the negative, if that's how to look at it. I do not see the reasoning behind it, Hudson does not know any different. Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely love to have another chance at possibly having a little version of Hudson. But for now, I am consumed by the financial aspect. Ignorant of me, maybe. I know that working with 2 kids in daycare would not be feasible. I would never afford it, surviving on one income would be out of the question. I worry about bills as it is before they even arrive, and that would be too much pressure on Andy. I also see that I am approaching 35 this year, and if I wait for a 'right time' later I am just going to be too old-- even if I feel 20. I like to work and have my own money, whether it be to help out the bank account or to buy things and not have to hold my hand out. I also recall how I gained a retarded amount of weight while pregnant and the swelling that I had is very vivid in my mind.
My damned stubbornness and independence would love to have the best of both worlds; allowing balance both professionally as well with love and family... makes me overthink. I should just let life happen, and go with the flow so that things fall into place but I can't.
Am I just making excuses? For what? Does anyone else worry about the dumb shit like I do? Should I just be happy for what I have? Should I just say fuck it and do it, letting my husband deal with the aftermath and step it up in the financial department? Do I give it time and ride it out?
It's tough. I really want to make sure everyone is happy. Firstly myself, but then what? And for how long?
Andy and I have been going back and forth with this argument. Well maybe argument is not the best choice for the word, but we are just not seeing eye to eye on this situation.
Hudson, as you know was a perfect result from our struggle with infertility and finally the journey with IVF. I do not take him for granted for one second, and I am so very grateful that after our 7 year struggle that he has been blessed to come into our lives. I absolutely love being his Mom. He is also at a very fun age right now, and I love that I have regained some of my independence. He can come along with me wherever and I do not worry about feeding times and the massive diaper bag. Sitters are more readily available for one (*Ahem*, we won't go there). He is adjusted to day care very well, therefor I am settled into a work routine at a great job that I love.
So back to the argument-- Andy is riding me hard in terms of going back to the fertility clinic and doing another round. Next time would be a frozen transfer, so I guess in some aspects I suppose it may be easier, but....
Seeing his side of the story, he says that Hudson needs a buddy. Andy was the result of an unplanned pregnancy later in life which seemed pretty much as an only child because of this. He said that it was very lonely, and will not have it that way for his son. I completely agree. I do not know what I would do without my siblings, especially my Sister whom I am very close with.
My side of the story only sees the negative, if that's how to look at it. I do not see the reasoning behind it, Hudson does not know any different. Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely love to have another chance at possibly having a little version of Hudson. But for now, I am consumed by the financial aspect. Ignorant of me, maybe. I know that working with 2 kids in daycare would not be feasible. I would never afford it, surviving on one income would be out of the question. I worry about bills as it is before they even arrive, and that would be too much pressure on Andy. I also see that I am approaching 35 this year, and if I wait for a 'right time' later I am just going to be too old-- even if I feel 20. I like to work and have my own money, whether it be to help out the bank account or to buy things and not have to hold my hand out. I also recall how I gained a retarded amount of weight while pregnant and the swelling that I had is very vivid in my mind.
My damned stubbornness and independence would love to have the best of both worlds; allowing balance both professionally as well with love and family... makes me overthink. I should just let life happen, and go with the flow so that things fall into place but I can't.
Am I just making excuses? For what? Does anyone else worry about the dumb shit like I do? Should I just be happy for what I have? Should I just say fuck it and do it, letting my husband deal with the aftermath and step it up in the financial department? Do I give it time and ride it out?
It's tough. I really want to make sure everyone is happy. Firstly myself, but then what? And for how long?
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Dear Andy #2
Dear Husband:
Maybe you could help me clarify whether my issues are OCD related like you speak of, or I'm simply the nagging bitch you portray me to be (in simpler terms).
I am getting so very sick and tired of picking up after you all of the time. I can literally take one walk through the house and tell you exactly what you did where. I let the crumbs and juice splatters slide, but c'mon... help a girl out!
The toilet seats are left up, which never used to be an issue before at all. Now I am super anal about it because it's a safe haven for balls and anything else that'll float.
The laundry doesn't usually have same day service either these days. Quite often I will leave the laundry clean and folded, but after building a mountain I have to designate a time to put it away. I absolutely hate it when you casually drape your gently-worn-all-day jeans over the clean laundry rather than putting them in the dirty basket beside it. Oh hell, leave them on the floor beside the basket, or on the chair that lives in the corner of the bedroom. Same goes for your bath towel.
The dishwasher washes the dishes for you, all you have to do is put the dirty ones INSIDE of it and I will ensure that happens for you. I will even make sure that they are put away when they are clean.
Beer caps belong in the garbage, and recyclables under the sink. Again, easy peasy.
When I come home from work, I love to use my key to open the door. Leaving the front door and/or patio doors unlocked does not welcome me home. I figure I must need to brighten up the nice "LOCK THE DOOR" sign that is just above the door handle. It worked for a bit. Maybe it's an old farm habit... please make an effort to lock it in the city.
And finally yesterday, when you got home from your 4 days of 'work' (He was paid by his boss to drive the bus for 4 days to Brooks for the senior hockey team to play provincials to win 2nd place)... emptying your suitcase into the laundry basket without sorting clean from dirty does not sit well with the Warden. Doing so can be done while reminiscing about your man/work weekend and hanging out with buddies that are on the team.
Last night would have been a fabulous night to watch a movie, but instead I would rather have some sleep. Holding up the fort and running after our 15 month son all weekend on a solo effort is exhausting enough, let alone working all day today and then making supper when I got home. You were more more up for a movie than I, after all you did sleep from 10am-6pm in the day. When I shot the idea down I soon looked over to find you back to sleep for the night at 10pm, and then sleeping until 7:30 this morning made me insanely bitter and jealous. Would've been nice for you to get up with Hudson at 1:30, or at 3am when he was wide awake would've been great too. I'm not picky!
Ensuring that the dog's feet are dry before the muddy footprints are stamped all over the kitchen would be nice. He listens to you the best, so him getting under the habit would be easiest under your command. Wicked.
Any help would be appreciated, I don't expect miracles. Just a conscious effort, please.
Thanks, love! xo
Maybe you could help me clarify whether my issues are OCD related like you speak of, or I'm simply the nagging bitch you portray me to be (in simpler terms).
I am getting so very sick and tired of picking up after you all of the time. I can literally take one walk through the house and tell you exactly what you did where. I let the crumbs and juice splatters slide, but c'mon... help a girl out!
The toilet seats are left up, which never used to be an issue before at all. Now I am super anal about it because it's a safe haven for balls and anything else that'll float.
The laundry doesn't usually have same day service either these days. Quite often I will leave the laundry clean and folded, but after building a mountain I have to designate a time to put it away. I absolutely hate it when you casually drape your gently-worn-all-day jeans over the clean laundry rather than putting them in the dirty basket beside it. Oh hell, leave them on the floor beside the basket, or on the chair that lives in the corner of the bedroom. Same goes for your bath towel.
The dishwasher washes the dishes for you, all you have to do is put the dirty ones INSIDE of it and I will ensure that happens for you. I will even make sure that they are put away when they are clean.
Beer caps belong in the garbage, and recyclables under the sink. Again, easy peasy.
When I come home from work, I love to use my key to open the door. Leaving the front door and/or patio doors unlocked does not welcome me home. I figure I must need to brighten up the nice "LOCK THE DOOR" sign that is just above the door handle. It worked for a bit. Maybe it's an old farm habit... please make an effort to lock it in the city.
And finally yesterday, when you got home from your 4 days of 'work' (He was paid by his boss to drive the bus for 4 days to Brooks for the senior hockey team to play provincials to win 2nd place)... emptying your suitcase into the laundry basket without sorting clean from dirty does not sit well with the Warden. Doing so can be done while reminiscing about your man/work weekend and hanging out with buddies that are on the team.
Last night would have been a fabulous night to watch a movie, but instead I would rather have some sleep. Holding up the fort and running after our 15 month son all weekend on a solo effort is exhausting enough, let alone working all day today and then making supper when I got home. You were more more up for a movie than I, after all you did sleep from 10am-6pm in the day. When I shot the idea down I soon looked over to find you back to sleep for the night at 10pm, and then sleeping until 7:30 this morning made me insanely bitter and jealous. Would've been nice for you to get up with Hudson at 1:30, or at 3am when he was wide awake would've been great too. I'm not picky!
Ensuring that the dog's feet are dry before the muddy footprints are stamped all over the kitchen would be nice. He listens to you the best, so him getting under the habit would be easiest under your command. Wicked.
Any help would be appreciated, I don't expect miracles. Just a conscious effort, please.
Thanks, love! xo
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
In Hopes of a Solution
Today was the much anticipated appointment with the naturopath Doctor. It was a quiet little trendy office with a serene blue paint color, European furniture and Enya playing in the background.
This first consult was a bunch of paperwork asking questions pertaining history of diet, sleep patterns, ailments and medications. Nothing out of the ordinary from seeing any other health professional. Don't get me wrong, I did get some answers but I think I was honestly hoping for more-- more details perhaps. More of an in-depth analogy. Maybe a quick fix.
I had taken Hudson to the regular family doctor yesterday to analyze his fever (he runs at about 37.3 on a normal day lately) and he chalked it up to yet another on-going cold, saying his head was plugged and in time it will pass. The slight fever could be his body fighting the cold or from teething. Same explanation as the two previous visits, but still wanted to ensure I had a reason to go today and see another source. I explained the information to the herb doctor, in hopes of a better answer than the one that pissed me off one day earlier. After all, he's been sick for what feels like forever and this visit is $150 just to get in the door.
After taking one look at my little boy, she says, 'He's tired... is it his nap time?'
I was immediately offended and explained to her that he just woke from a 2 hour nap at day care, and the sleepy/sickly look to him is the reason behind our visit.
After a list of more questions, her verdict is that he has an allergy of some sort and would be able to pin point it better the next visit. Apparently milk and wheat allergies trigger the sinuses-- the assumed reason behind his cold. This is no shocker to me, it's the easiest start to a solution. I knew from my Mother's intuition that it was allergies from the start, I just wasn't sure from what. So for the next 5 weeks I am to cut out all flour and dairy, (*gasp*!... let's not forget that my son is a complete carboholic and eats grilled cheese and pizza as his main food intake.) Nearly all kid snacks contain wheat, modified milk ingredients or dyes. Mum-mums are the only thing safe in the snack cupboard right now.
She did give me a list of modified food items like spelt (a hexo-something-rather that is derived from wheat) for pasta, flour, bread, and to try soy milks and cheeses. She even suggested that I roast red peppers and mash them to make pizza sauce. Not sure how I am going to be able to stick to this diet entirely with daycare and Hudson seeing the other kids eating the goods. Well that, and the fact that he is so darned picky. Tonight he ate some chopped up grapes and some oatmeal.
I was also given a long list of herbs (I am okay with it) to get him to start taking to boost his immune system. He is now taking a liquid multi vitamin as well. Tack on another 100 bucks to this day.
I don't want to sound bitchy or ungrateful but all in all, I just wanted more. More help? Maybe an easy answer? I don't know. I just want to know what is wrong, and I am sick and tired of people asking if he is sick or tired.
I work with a lady who does touch healing and Rheki, so I asked her in advance if she wouldn't mind looking over the long list of diet modifications and herbs, and then finally doing a muscle test on him (it is a term they use to read what the body is saying).
I'll keep you posted.
This first consult was a bunch of paperwork asking questions pertaining history of diet, sleep patterns, ailments and medications. Nothing out of the ordinary from seeing any other health professional. Don't get me wrong, I did get some answers but I think I was honestly hoping for more-- more details perhaps. More of an in-depth analogy. Maybe a quick fix.
I had taken Hudson to the regular family doctor yesterday to analyze his fever (he runs at about 37.3 on a normal day lately) and he chalked it up to yet another on-going cold, saying his head was plugged and in time it will pass. The slight fever could be his body fighting the cold or from teething. Same explanation as the two previous visits, but still wanted to ensure I had a reason to go today and see another source. I explained the information to the herb doctor, in hopes of a better answer than the one that pissed me off one day earlier. After all, he's been sick for what feels like forever and this visit is $150 just to get in the door.
After taking one look at my little boy, she says, 'He's tired... is it his nap time?'
I was immediately offended and explained to her that he just woke from a 2 hour nap at day care, and the sleepy/sickly look to him is the reason behind our visit.
After a list of more questions, her verdict is that he has an allergy of some sort and would be able to pin point it better the next visit. Apparently milk and wheat allergies trigger the sinuses-- the assumed reason behind his cold. This is no shocker to me, it's the easiest start to a solution. I knew from my Mother's intuition that it was allergies from the start, I just wasn't sure from what. So for the next 5 weeks I am to cut out all flour and dairy, (*gasp*!... let's not forget that my son is a complete carboholic and eats grilled cheese and pizza as his main food intake.) Nearly all kid snacks contain wheat, modified milk ingredients or dyes. Mum-mums are the only thing safe in the snack cupboard right now.
She did give me a list of modified food items like spelt (a hexo-something-rather that is derived from wheat) for pasta, flour, bread, and to try soy milks and cheeses. She even suggested that I roast red peppers and mash them to make pizza sauce. Not sure how I am going to be able to stick to this diet entirely with daycare and Hudson seeing the other kids eating the goods. Well that, and the fact that he is so darned picky. Tonight he ate some chopped up grapes and some oatmeal.
I was also given a long list of herbs (I am okay with it) to get him to start taking to boost his immune system. He is now taking a liquid multi vitamin as well. Tack on another 100 bucks to this day.
I don't want to sound bitchy or ungrateful but all in all, I just wanted more. More help? Maybe an easy answer? I don't know. I just want to know what is wrong, and I am sick and tired of people asking if he is sick or tired.
I work with a lady who does touch healing and Rheki, so I asked her in advance if she wouldn't mind looking over the long list of diet modifications and herbs, and then finally doing a muscle test on him (it is a term they use to read what the body is saying).
I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Dilemma
Weddings are a part of summer, and three invites have arrived already. One is for the girl at work, the second is my friend whom was the first person I met and became friends with when I moved here nearly 7 years ago, and the third is for my very good friend that I hang out with most days.
All three weddings are on the same day, August 14th.
So now I am faced with this dilemma (not that I will lose sleep over it). I know that I have time for the dust to settle and things will work out by then. Looking at the situation, I have weighed my options...
A. The girl at work I have known for the least amount of time, but working together everyday I am faced with Bridezilla stories and the same question of, 'You're coming, right?!' Ditching out when the entire office will be there weighs my conscience a little, but I will likely make this my last option due to the length of time we've known each other.
B. My friend #2, I met her in September of 2003. We used to party like rock stars and even had our babies 6 weeks apart. She secretly got married while pregnant to make it legit, and is now having the big show to make the dream a reality, so to speak. I was pretty pumped for this one until I realized the date of Bachelorette #3's nuptuals...
C. She and I are tight. We click, hang out on a regular basis. I even went dress shopping with her to find 'the dress'. This weekend I am helping her pick bridesmaid dresses, because her attendants live in Kamloops and Hawaii. Should be a good party!
So even still, how do I let #2 down if I only go to #3? Do I juggle two in one day somehow-- perhaps one ceremony and the other's reception? Maybe I could go to #1's stagette and just get a gift? Ugh.
Maybe I will have a family reunion that weekend.
All three weddings are on the same day, August 14th.
So now I am faced with this dilemma (not that I will lose sleep over it). I know that I have time for the dust to settle and things will work out by then. Looking at the situation, I have weighed my options...
A. The girl at work I have known for the least amount of time, but working together everyday I am faced with Bridezilla stories and the same question of, 'You're coming, right?!' Ditching out when the entire office will be there weighs my conscience a little, but I will likely make this my last option due to the length of time we've known each other.
B. My friend #2, I met her in September of 2003. We used to party like rock stars and even had our babies 6 weeks apart. She secretly got married while pregnant to make it legit, and is now having the big show to make the dream a reality, so to speak. I was pretty pumped for this one until I realized the date of Bachelorette #3's nuptuals...
C. She and I are tight. We click, hang out on a regular basis. I even went dress shopping with her to find 'the dress'. This weekend I am helping her pick bridesmaid dresses, because her attendants live in Kamloops and Hawaii. Should be a good party!
So even still, how do I let #2 down if I only go to #3? Do I juggle two in one day somehow-- perhaps one ceremony and the other's reception? Maybe I could go to #1's stagette and just get a gift? Ugh.
Maybe I will have a family reunion that weekend.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
In Hopes of Some Much Needed Answers
Wow, it's been a while since I did a post! Writer's block, it's killing me...
Today I finally took the bull by the horns and did some investigating. Sounds juicy doesn't it!??! No, no it's not some exciting dirt that I need to share after a break in posting. I actually got Hudson an appointment to see a Naturalpath. He meets with the Doctor next week, and I am truly looking forward to it!
I am consumed with the fact that he constantly has a cold; (I should have stocks in the kleenex biz) and presumably so, I chalked it up to daycare. Once he has adjusted, the immune system would go up and we will be in the free and clear. I started paying attention to his cold a bit more into detail. The 'cold' has gone on for months off and on, with some days obviously worse than others. He has watery eyes that are often red with rings under them, and pulls on his ears. People comment on how tired he looks when I know he's not. These symptoms are just to name a few that have become part of the daily routine. I had been trying him out on Benedryl and Claritin-- in hopes that it would help subside some of these things. All it did was make him drowsy and give him the shits. Thanks, but no thanks. I want the problem fixed, and I am not thrilled about having him on meds every day his life. If there is a herbal approach or diet change, then I will adjust to what is necessary.
I had asked my family doctor a while back as to what he thought (*gasp*), and he gave me a lecture about how Hudson should be off the bottle at his age and should only have one cup of milk per day. I agree, yes, IF he were a better eater. Mr. Fussy Eater is a piss-poor eater (some days he does well, but often not so much) and I worry that he will not meet his nutritional requirements otherwise. He only gets 2 bottles per day, mid day and bed time.
Upon booking the consult with the Wellness Center, she told me that the assessment takes about an hour and a half and we should have some answers right away. Just talking on the phone and listing some symptoms, I felt so much hope that there is a remedy and this shit is not just in my head.
I think that Momma knows best (now that I'm a mother), and we'll see if my intuition is right. I'll keep you posted.
Today I finally took the bull by the horns and did some investigating. Sounds juicy doesn't it!??! No, no it's not some exciting dirt that I need to share after a break in posting. I actually got Hudson an appointment to see a Naturalpath. He meets with the Doctor next week, and I am truly looking forward to it!
I am consumed with the fact that he constantly has a cold; (I should have stocks in the kleenex biz) and presumably so, I chalked it up to daycare. Once he has adjusted, the immune system would go up and we will be in the free and clear. I started paying attention to his cold a bit more into detail. The 'cold' has gone on for months off and on, with some days obviously worse than others. He has watery eyes that are often red with rings under them, and pulls on his ears. People comment on how tired he looks when I know he's not. These symptoms are just to name a few that have become part of the daily routine. I had been trying him out on Benedryl and Claritin-- in hopes that it would help subside some of these things. All it did was make him drowsy and give him the shits. Thanks, but no thanks. I want the problem fixed, and I am not thrilled about having him on meds every day his life. If there is a herbal approach or diet change, then I will adjust to what is necessary.
I had asked my family doctor a while back as to what he thought (*gasp*), and he gave me a lecture about how Hudson should be off the bottle at his age and should only have one cup of milk per day. I agree, yes, IF he were a better eater. Mr. Fussy Eater is a piss-poor eater (some days he does well, but often not so much) and I worry that he will not meet his nutritional requirements otherwise. He only gets 2 bottles per day, mid day and bed time.
Upon booking the consult with the Wellness Center, she told me that the assessment takes about an hour and a half and we should have some answers right away. Just talking on the phone and listing some symptoms, I felt so much hope that there is a remedy and this shit is not just in my head.
I think that Momma knows best (now that I'm a mother), and we'll see if my intuition is right. I'll keep you posted.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
No More Mr. Nice Guy?
Just taking a breather here, sitting on the floor in front of the bathroom door while Hudson is bathing. On baby watch through the corner of my eye while clicking away on my laptop.
Listening to the radio today while driving back to work from my lunch break, I hear the latest news, "Local 39-year-old high school-phys ed teacher gets charged with 4 counts of sexual harassment and somethingrather of sexual exploitation... Amounting in 9 charges in total. Names are not released, however the court date is set for March 24th... "
That's when the alarm went off in my head. My fucking neighbor for the past 5 years is a high school phys ed teacher! 39 year old male.... check! You know, the super nice guy who lived with his family right next door?!?! The guy who's wife stopped me in Safeway this past Sunday while grocery shopping in hopes of planning a get together?! (Not even a word of a lie!)
Coincidence that he fits the profile? Likely, but one never knows. (Well, maybe my great friend that works at a nearby detachment but is sworn to secrecy.)
Google was efficient enough to get me enough info to find out that there are 5 possible teachers, 4 of which I do not have any stats more than name and occupation at the school.
Guess I'll just have to wait the old fashioned way... and in the meantime pray that it is not Mr. Nice Neighbor.
Listening to the radio today while driving back to work from my lunch break, I hear the latest news, "Local 39-year-old high school-phys ed teacher gets charged with 4 counts of sexual harassment and somethingrather of sexual exploitation... Amounting in 9 charges in total. Names are not released, however the court date is set for March 24th... "
That's when the alarm went off in my head. My fucking neighbor for the past 5 years is a high school phys ed teacher! 39 year old male.... check! You know, the super nice guy who lived with his family right next door?!?! The guy who's wife stopped me in Safeway this past Sunday while grocery shopping in hopes of planning a get together?! (Not even a word of a lie!)
Coincidence that he fits the profile? Likely, but one never knows. (Well, maybe my great friend that works at a nearby detachment but is sworn to secrecy.)
Google was efficient enough to get me enough info to find out that there are 5 possible teachers, 4 of which I do not have any stats more than name and occupation at the school.
Guess I'll just have to wait the old fashioned way... and in the meantime pray that it is not Mr. Nice Neighbor.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Stumped.
This post may sound quite ridiculous to some. To me, I am simply stumped about my current situation.
Today at work, my new employer handed me the forms for group benefits. I cheerfully filled out the paperwork, and counted out the days until I was able to make a dentist appointment. (I have not gone in over a year, and I am one of those girls that gets her teeth cleaned 3-4 times per year). I'm itching to go, 8 more weeks.
Aaaaanyway... I got to the beneficiary part of the paperwork, and I froze. Sounds silly, but I did not know what to write in the line. Normally I would automatically write my husband's name in the required spot, but now I have my little dude is an equal contender. I know that if something were to happen to me that Andy would most definitely would ensure our son was well taken care of, (as any good parent would) but then I let my mind wander. What if, I were gone and then there was this hefty settlement, and some hoebag settled into my life riding the gravy train and there was nothing there for Hudson's school down the road one day?
One never knows...
I have thought long and hard about doing the 50/50 route so I could make sure he was taken care of now, and would have some socked away for later. But I see that Andy is capable of working and taking care of him, so what the hell. Should I just say fuck it, and leave it for Andy as I always would?
I am going to leave them until Monday to be filled out. Maybe some time to think on it would be best. Sleep on it and see if I am making a bigger issue of it than it needs to be.
What would you do?
Today at work, my new employer handed me the forms for group benefits. I cheerfully filled out the paperwork, and counted out the days until I was able to make a dentist appointment. (I have not gone in over a year, and I am one of those girls that gets her teeth cleaned 3-4 times per year). I'm itching to go, 8 more weeks.
Aaaaanyway... I got to the beneficiary part of the paperwork, and I froze. Sounds silly, but I did not know what to write in the line. Normally I would automatically write my husband's name in the required spot, but now I have my little dude is an equal contender. I know that if something were to happen to me that Andy would most definitely would ensure our son was well taken care of, (as any good parent would) but then I let my mind wander. What if, I were gone and then there was this hefty settlement, and some hoebag settled into my life riding the gravy train and there was nothing there for Hudson's school down the road one day?
One never knows...
I have thought long and hard about doing the 50/50 route so I could make sure he was taken care of now, and would have some socked away for later. But I see that Andy is capable of working and taking care of him, so what the hell. Should I just say fuck it, and leave it for Andy as I always would?
I am going to leave them until Monday to be filled out. Maybe some time to think on it would be best. Sleep on it and see if I am making a bigger issue of it than it needs to be.
What would you do?
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Truth Be Told
I'm just going to go out there and say it. I like it when my husband is gone out of town... I reeeeally like it. More specifically when he's out of town working ( I get a tad bit jealous when he's gone away on his man trips).
Gone, aaaaaand making money. Best of both worlds!
I like the quietness of the house. I like how I get out of the bed in the morning and I do one simple flip of the blanket and it's made because I hardly move. I like having my own space in front of the mirror in the morning while getting ready for work (and not cleaning the splatters of toothpaste on the mirror). I like that the house stays spiffed up other than the toys laying around at the end of the day. I like the lack of extra laundry. I like that I don't have to worry about cooking. I like not getting asked 10 times where your belt, phone, wallet, hat and keys are while getting a baby ready in the early hours.
I love how while you are away, absence makes the heart grow fonder and I look forward to when you are coming home.
Gone, aaaaaand making money. Best of both worlds!
I like the quietness of the house. I like how I get out of the bed in the morning and I do one simple flip of the blanket and it's made because I hardly move. I like having my own space in front of the mirror in the morning while getting ready for work (and not cleaning the splatters of toothpaste on the mirror). I like that the house stays spiffed up other than the toys laying around at the end of the day. I like the lack of extra laundry. I like that I don't have to worry about cooking. I like not getting asked 10 times where your belt, phone, wallet, hat and keys are while getting a baby ready in the early hours.
I love how while you are away, absence makes the heart grow fonder and I look forward to when you are coming home.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Blah.
Things have been working out well for me. I just went on a fabulous family holiday, have a great new job, hubs and kidlet are good. I have no serious issues in life right now that I really should complain about.
So what the hell is up with me? I feel like a sack. I have zero drive in the evenings to want to even put forth an effort to watch a movie (tough one, I know). The second that my little dude goes to bed I am going mach 10 to fly into my bed as well for the night, and sometimes it is as early as 8:00. I wake up in the morning, and my first thought is asking myself what the day's plans are in hopes for another early night. I cannot be bothered to cook dinner, so it won't be a shocker if I serve up our 13 month old's dinner choice-- grilled cheese and alpha-ghetti. Tonight I ate cereal.
People are asking when I am able to get together for some drinks, or stop by for a glass of wine. I always give the same answer--- an enthusiastic, 'Let's make a date!" and never follow through. I am a social girl, and the majority of our friends have kids so I could take Hudson in tow if need be. I just can't be bothered.
Maybe it's just the winter hermit-mode blues. I'd rather bitch about it in a post that actually do something positive about it.
Just stuck in a rut I guess.
So what the hell is up with me? I feel like a sack. I have zero drive in the evenings to want to even put forth an effort to watch a movie (tough one, I know). The second that my little dude goes to bed I am going mach 10 to fly into my bed as well for the night, and sometimes it is as early as 8:00. I wake up in the morning, and my first thought is asking myself what the day's plans are in hopes for another early night. I cannot be bothered to cook dinner, so it won't be a shocker if I serve up our 13 month old's dinner choice-- grilled cheese and alpha-ghetti. Tonight I ate cereal.
People are asking when I am able to get together for some drinks, or stop by for a glass of wine. I always give the same answer--- an enthusiastic, 'Let's make a date!" and never follow through. I am a social girl, and the majority of our friends have kids so I could take Hudson in tow if need be. I just can't be bothered.
Maybe it's just the winter hermit-mode blues. I'd rather bitch about it in a post that actually do something positive about it.
Just stuck in a rut I guess.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Irony
Sitting at my desk this morning I was paged for a phone call. On the other end of the phone happened to be my fast talking husband... to tell me of a coincidence he discovered, and was very excited about it.
While pregnant, I can clearly recall telling Andy to think of cool boys names 'just in case'. I was adamant that I was having a girl anyway, but suggested that he listened to names in the NHL and if he heard one to write it down. Before I knew it 'Johan' was our baby's name in utero. Each day he would rub my belly and talk to it letting little 'Johan' that Daddy loved s/him. (Shim as I called it). Ultrasound photos were introduced as Johan. Nonetheless, Johan became and everyday name but obviously I had settled on Hudson.
The phone call this morning was to let me know that Hudson and Johan Franzen (DET) share the same birth date.
Ironic.
While pregnant, I can clearly recall telling Andy to think of cool boys names 'just in case'. I was adamant that I was having a girl anyway, but suggested that he listened to names in the NHL and if he heard one to write it down. Before I knew it 'Johan' was our baby's name in utero. Each day he would rub my belly and talk to it letting little 'Johan' that Daddy loved s/him. (Shim as I called it). Ultrasound photos were introduced as Johan. Nonetheless, Johan became and everyday name but obviously I had settled on Hudson.
The phone call this morning was to let me know that Hudson and Johan Franzen (DET) share the same birth date.
Ironic.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Dear Andy
My husband does not read this blog, but if he did the letter would see the very informative letter I have wrote for him so early in the morning:
Dear Andy,
For the past few days you have got up for work at 3 am. I did not mind the 2 alarms going off to make sure you wake up on time, but last night when you hit the snooze on both of them and make then go off again only pissed me off and made me wide awake for the day.
I normally would have made your lunch the night before, and perhaps I should have rather than going to bed out of tiredness because by the sounds of the kitchen and all of the banging that was going on it must be quite a project.
Perhaps when you are getting up so early as well, you could shower before bed to ensure that the pounding of water on the shower floor will not echo through the ever-so-quiet house in the wee hours of the darkness. Leaving the tap running through the duration of your morning shave is annoying, and a waste of our metered water.
Another suggestion might be to lay out your appropriate clothes the night before. If you look at the chair in the bedroom, you will see that I have done so for myself. The slamming of the armoir doors has the same percussion of a huge drum set. The jingle of your work belt does not add to the sound quality either.
I do apologize for the bitch letter, however when you bring the crying baby into our bed just before the alarms go off, and all of this going on makes it tough to put him back to sleep after he is sitting up in bed... squinting at the ray of light coming from the bathroom doorway you are standing by while ramming the toothbrush down your throat to make that gagging sound that I love so dearly and makes him curious to what is going on.
Other than that, I just want to say have a great day at work. Glad you like your new job as well!
Love,
Jen XO
Dear Andy,
For the past few days you have got up for work at 3 am. I did not mind the 2 alarms going off to make sure you wake up on time, but last night when you hit the snooze on both of them and make then go off again only pissed me off and made me wide awake for the day.
I normally would have made your lunch the night before, and perhaps I should have rather than going to bed out of tiredness because by the sounds of the kitchen and all of the banging that was going on it must be quite a project.
Perhaps when you are getting up so early as well, you could shower before bed to ensure that the pounding of water on the shower floor will not echo through the ever-so-quiet house in the wee hours of the darkness. Leaving the tap running through the duration of your morning shave is annoying, and a waste of our metered water.
Another suggestion might be to lay out your appropriate clothes the night before. If you look at the chair in the bedroom, you will see that I have done so for myself. The slamming of the armoir doors has the same percussion of a huge drum set. The jingle of your work belt does not add to the sound quality either.
I do apologize for the bitch letter, however when you bring the crying baby into our bed just before the alarms go off, and all of this going on makes it tough to put him back to sleep after he is sitting up in bed... squinting at the ray of light coming from the bathroom doorway you are standing by while ramming the toothbrush down your throat to make that gagging sound that I love so dearly and makes him curious to what is going on.
Other than that, I just want to say have a great day at work. Glad you like your new job as well!
Love,
Jen XO
Monday, February 1, 2010
First day
Today was my first day at the new job. It was fantastic! I walked in and everyone was quick to greet and shake hands. This store is so contemporary and fresh-- and the textiles are so modern.
I went in after I dropped Hudson off at day care. My employers have agreed to let me work from 8:15 - 4:45 to accommodate the day care 's hours of operation. Already, I love this place because of this.
Hudson has yet another insanely runny nose, and I told them that I was in fear all night (while clock watching to not sleep in) that he would get a fever and would not be able to make it on my first day. They said family comes first, and that they all have had kids so it's bound to happen and not to worry. Another bonus.
I have been given a base salary plus commission. My last job was strictly commission based, and would make it tight if it were slow in the holiday seasons. It may be a lower bracket of pay over the course of a year if the commission bracket is lower, but hell... it'll all work out in the wash. Everyone is so nice here, and I am hoping that I go with my instincts and am proven correct. Teamwork is stressed there, no cut throat sales allowed.
I have to work one Saturday a month, and we can take an extra day off the following week or bank it for another day off later. Nice perk if you want to save up for the summer.
Benefits start immediately. They pay half, and that sounds fair to me.
Drum roll please.... I have an office! A place to consult with the client and not have another salesperson rubbing elbows with you, or cougarville's bigwig hairdo taking up space. They give you some decor to work with, but allow you to decorate it as you wish.
So far, it's true... One door closes and another door opens. Timing worked out, and I got to go on my holiday and get the family orientated fresh start that I obviously needed.
I went in after I dropped Hudson off at day care. My employers have agreed to let me work from 8:15 - 4:45 to accommodate the day care 's hours of operation. Already, I love this place because of this.
Hudson has yet another insanely runny nose, and I told them that I was in fear all night (while clock watching to not sleep in) that he would get a fever and would not be able to make it on my first day. They said family comes first, and that they all have had kids so it's bound to happen and not to worry. Another bonus.
I have been given a base salary plus commission. My last job was strictly commission based, and would make it tight if it were slow in the holiday seasons. It may be a lower bracket of pay over the course of a year if the commission bracket is lower, but hell... it'll all work out in the wash. Everyone is so nice here, and I am hoping that I go with my instincts and am proven correct. Teamwork is stressed there, no cut throat sales allowed.
I have to work one Saturday a month, and we can take an extra day off the following week or bank it for another day off later. Nice perk if you want to save up for the summer.
Benefits start immediately. They pay half, and that sounds fair to me.
Drum roll please.... I have an office! A place to consult with the client and not have another salesperson rubbing elbows with you, or cougarville's bigwig hairdo taking up space. They give you some decor to work with, but allow you to decorate it as you wish.
So far, it's true... One door closes and another door opens. Timing worked out, and I got to go on my holiday and get the family orientated fresh start that I obviously needed.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Mexico Pics
Here are a few photos from our trip!
View from our room:
Sunset:
Us 3:
View of the resort's pool and my feet (day1-- still pale):
Resort view from the beach:
Brutal tan lines:
Guys of our Group:
Girls of our Group:
My handsome little dude:
My very pale and SPF friendly husband and baby along with myself and the entertainment team. Guy to the left of me looks like my nephew, Mik I think in about 15 years!
Tequila baby:
Passed out after a hard night of dancing and partying at he wedding: haha
Andy in the kids zone:
Us 3, again:
My beautiful son, framer #1:
Framer #2:
Hudson's imprints in the sand:
Afternoon siesta:
Framer #3, Hudson and Daddy:
Mexico was amazing!
I relaxed, soaked up the sun and reconnected. Just what we needed, even though I argued the fact that I didn't need to go. I indeed needed to go.
First day there I was hammered by 2pm. I rarely have more than a glass of wine now and again at home, but I somehow got caught up in the all inclusive thing and sun... It was fun! Sex on the beach frosted in the day, and purple sky on the rocks at night. Mmmmm! I wore a bikini every day there and it was awesome for the self esteem! There are lots of people that look much better than myself, and lots that are much worse too. Cellulite is part of life, and we are too hard on ourselves.
It was a great bunch of people. We really got along well as a group and one couple even lives a block away from us here at home! We also connected with a couple that had twin girls via IVF at the same clinic as us, small world.
Hudson was an all star. People were continuously coming up to us and commenting on how good of a baby he was, and it made me proud. He napped each afternoon under the deck umbrella on a deck chair, spent many hours in the pool, and thoroughly enjoyed the evening shows performed at the resort. All that singing and dancing, he was in awe. He survived on soda crackers, bananas, watermelon, fruit loops, and quesadillas. Not too bad for a fussy eater. He is still on formula, so I was washing his bottles in the ice bucket and running bottled water through the coffee maker to keep a piece of mind even thought the resort said the tap water was purified.
I wish that the beach was better, not that I love the idea of swimming in the ocean... but it is all part of the trip isn't it? Sun, beach, drinks? The waves were pounding, and jellyfish were beached. Um, no thank you.
Our friends Greg & Leann got married, and the wedding was beautiful and she looked amazing. Congrats to them.
Andy, Hudson and I took an afternoon and went into Cabo San Lucas and did some touring. Lots to see and do. Hard Rock, a beautiful Marina, Senor Frog's, markets....
Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo was pounding in the day with a kickass band, and would've been a wicked place to tear it up at night. Bras hanging all around the bar and enough lights and speakers in there to light up a small town. He just opened one in Vegas, so maybe I will check it out there one day. I want to plan a girls trip-- Vegas for a weekend anyone?
I was quite sad to leave the sun, but I guess that's why they call it a holiday!
Work hard and plan for a holiday as often as possible, I say!
View from our room:
Sunset:
Us 3:
View of the resort's pool and my feet (day1-- still pale):
Resort view from the beach:
Brutal tan lines:
Guys of our Group:
Girls of our Group:
My handsome little dude:
My very pale and SPF friendly husband and baby along with myself and the entertainment team. Guy to the left of me looks like my nephew, Mik I think in about 15 years!
Tequila baby:
Passed out after a hard night of dancing and partying at he wedding: haha
Andy in the kids zone:
Us 3, again:
My beautiful son, framer #1:
Framer #2:
Hudson's imprints in the sand:
Afternoon siesta:
Framer #3, Hudson and Daddy:
Mexico was amazing!
I relaxed, soaked up the sun and reconnected. Just what we needed, even though I argued the fact that I didn't need to go. I indeed needed to go.
First day there I was hammered by 2pm. I rarely have more than a glass of wine now and again at home, but I somehow got caught up in the all inclusive thing and sun... It was fun! Sex on the beach frosted in the day, and purple sky on the rocks at night. Mmmmm! I wore a bikini every day there and it was awesome for the self esteem! There are lots of people that look much better than myself, and lots that are much worse too. Cellulite is part of life, and we are too hard on ourselves.
It was a great bunch of people. We really got along well as a group and one couple even lives a block away from us here at home! We also connected with a couple that had twin girls via IVF at the same clinic as us, small world.
Hudson was an all star. People were continuously coming up to us and commenting on how good of a baby he was, and it made me proud. He napped each afternoon under the deck umbrella on a deck chair, spent many hours in the pool, and thoroughly enjoyed the evening shows performed at the resort. All that singing and dancing, he was in awe. He survived on soda crackers, bananas, watermelon, fruit loops, and quesadillas. Not too bad for a fussy eater. He is still on formula, so I was washing his bottles in the ice bucket and running bottled water through the coffee maker to keep a piece of mind even thought the resort said the tap water was purified.
I wish that the beach was better, not that I love the idea of swimming in the ocean... but it is all part of the trip isn't it? Sun, beach, drinks? The waves were pounding, and jellyfish were beached. Um, no thank you.
Our friends Greg & Leann got married, and the wedding was beautiful and she looked amazing. Congrats to them.
Andy, Hudson and I took an afternoon and went into Cabo San Lucas and did some touring. Lots to see and do. Hard Rock, a beautiful Marina, Senor Frog's, markets....
Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo was pounding in the day with a kickass band, and would've been a wicked place to tear it up at night. Bras hanging all around the bar and enough lights and speakers in there to light up a small town. He just opened one in Vegas, so maybe I will check it out there one day. I want to plan a girls trip-- Vegas for a weekend anyone?
I was quite sad to leave the sun, but I guess that's why they call it a holiday!
Work hard and plan for a holiday as often as possible, I say!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Yet Another New Blog
I truly could not find peace in doing another post until I created a new blog. Knowing that I was being stalked on the internet through my twitter account left me feeling uneasy and vulnerable, and figured that yet another fresh start was the only way to make it happen. The whole password thing is an easy fix, but found it to be a royal pain in the ass.
Cheers to hoping that this third blog's a charm.
Cheers to hoping that this third blog's a charm.
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