Woes Me

Oh, what I wouldn't give to write a hilarious post. *sigh*

Ever feel like the Universe is against you? It seems that way for me lately. I can usually plug away, and tread water long enough to get my way through most situations. Lately I feel overwhelmed, and find it so hard to just get by.

Andy has been so much better, doing things like helping out in the mornings and folding laundry without being asked. He even brought me lunch to the office, and I had some flowers delivered for my desk yesterday. I know that he can tell that I am stressed, and is trying to make things
easier for me. Soon he will be working out of town and making good money again, so that makes things a bit brighter as well. Going to Mexico after mat leave and quitting your job makes it tough to get ahead. It's coming, all this hard work has to pay off at some point.

Work, it's been stressful only because things are not working out perfectly. I love my job, and the office part of it is fantastic. It just seems that every job I set up seems to have some sort of set back. It's just not one little thing either, it's like I have one day where everything that I touch turns to shit-- and then the next day I am cleaning up the mess of the after math. Perhaps these issues are really not that big, but only seem to be because of the other difficulties I have with my personal life.

I know that if I had more sleep, all would be great. Hudson has a mouthful of teeth that are cutting through and still wakes up in the night. I know that it's not forever, but I miss my sleep. I keep telling myself that it's overrated and then reminisce about how I would pull an all-nighter and go to work reeking of booze and not even bat an eye. (Oh how times have changed.)

I am still struggling a bit with being away from Hudson 5 full days a week. I know that he is in excellent care, and I do like to work. Buuuut.... when I pick him up and they tell me all about his day and I hear of all his changes, I get a little envious because I only get a couple of hours per night to spend with him. Mommy guilt sucks.

We had another appointment with the naturopath doctor, and I am still all defensive about how I am criticized regarding his eating habits and his 'cold'. She did a muscle test this time and he has an intolerance to lactose, chicken, rice, wheat, and the dog. I have him on a multi vitamin and some natural biotics from the health food store to try and fix some of these problems. Small adjustments, or he may just outgrow it.

I was running like mad, and for the last couple of weeks I have not been taking the time for myself to get out and do it. I know it sounds like and excuse, but I really have no time. I need to make time. It feels great.

Lastly, if you have been follwing my Tweets in the past while you have likely seen my disappointment in another aspect. My brother is back to his old ways. I am not going to go into great detail, but anyone who knows me personally will already know his past history. I lose sleep at night worrying about this 33 year old 'boy' and his well being. It consumes me.
I have to accept that he is 33 and can make his own choices in life, he is able to work and provide for himself and I have to worry about my own family. It's very hard, and I want to help. He has to help himself first. Everything has to get worse before it can get better, and I am sure that we've nearly hit rock bottom.

Only time will tell.